Jan 6, 2010

We Are Faceless

This song is for those who do not want to wake up one day and have a thousand networking site friends that are all shallow and faceless.


"We Are Faceless"
12Drytyfngrs
Written by Ccigaux Adona
December 16, 2009

Then again, I've been fooled
I am less, I'm enraged by the sudden death

Was it fair?
You made me believe you're there, you left me in the air

Are you real?
The harder I see, the more you become a mystery

Here's a toast to all that you were
And to all the sense you put in me

It's hard to admit we're faceless and
the concern, the lies that we commit
The talks, the laughs, the might have beens
The twist & turns, the thoughtlessness


video

Dec 30, 2009

My December In A Few Words & Photos

"if words are too few
to keep horizons in view
will you go
or stay and grow?"- UpDharmaDown

The sky was limited after all


Treat someone special and you will feel special


I learned to share my talent in the most unexpected manner


I made someone happy and surprised even for a while


Being with "the band" that I humbly believes in all aspect of pure musical class

That there's no "I" in the word "team"


That friendship is far more important than any fame


That surprises are a great way to give hope and emphasize
that good things comes in short-noticed planning

That the past can be brought up in a very funny way


That cold beverages may also warm someone's soul


That panda's can be tickled on the nose. The fake ones, that is.


That we can create a meaningful December for someone you haven't known yet


And that Christmas and New Year are not just a prerequisite to be happy or to be with someone so that you're not alone. It's also the time of the year to be thankful for all the months of defeat, loss and exhilarating damages you took.

....that even if Grimace wants you to grimace all the sadness away. :)

How can I not be so hopeful and positive for the coming year if my December was already so blessed?

Kampai!

Dec 13, 2009

It's Almost 2010


Yeah.

It's almost the end of a year and a beginning of a new one. It was a struggling year for me yet I still made some of my friends or folks happy, cry, angry and made a few good friends here and there. I watched two international artists perform this year. I broke some promises. I made some new ones. I saw the collapse of a soul in Magindanao. I gained a belly. I lost my first mobile sim card. I slept so late. I went to some of the few fantastic beaches around. I cried incessantly about heart aches and unresolved problems. I believed yet my relationship to Him had been lesser than a year ago. I crumbled and fell in and out of love. I miss my parents. I welcomed and said goodbye and welcomed again the arrival of processed food and canned goods in our refrigerator. I hugged my stained pillows more tight than before. I made a few beautiful songs. I become a couch potato. I appreciated the little things in life more than ever. I smiled when I felt like frowning. I made mistakes. I lied. I pray. I cared. I expected. I'm damaged. But one of the crucial high light this year was when I reached out and leave my comfort zone to help the helpless.

I made sense to this sensitive world, that's for sure. I'm not irrelevant.

It's almost 2010, well.. almost.

Much has been said,

Nov 17, 2009

A Girl Named Mingky and Some Thoughts About Leaving

with Jana


Val Calinawan ('Mingky' for those who know her from head to toe.)


No. She's not one of my latest acquaintances in Philippine showbizness. She's not someone I met from a bookstore. And definitely not the girl I recently courted. She's primarily my friend who recently went abroad. We were never that close until the last two meet ups with her and Jana made a big difference.

Above photos was taken in Shang two days before Mingky's migration to Long Beach.

She's carefree, a shock absorber by hundreds, a knock-out when it comes to lite or strong conversations, a good Samaritan, a true friend, a youthful soul with an adult heart, commonly mistaken as 14 years old, a music enthusiast, a secret keeper, a diligent student, a simple daughter and sister, and a Koko(name of her cutest puppy) lover. :) She may not be as interesting as it may sound to some, but a person could not deny the kindness and heart she has for the people she truly appreciates.

I don't know why I had a strong emotional attachment to someone who leaves. Probably because I experienced being left behind by those important in my life. My father dearest went to middle east in the eve of my pubescent years. From that day forward, almost everyone I know left this magnificent country or had planned to leave. A temporary goodbye here and there. A couple of type-written Hello's and Hi's afterward. And just last December, before Christmas, my mom and my brother went to the States. And then Neve, once been close to my heart, also went to the States with her family a few months later.

Leaving is not limited to distance. I mostly experienced some friends who left me without saying something. See? Leaving is also a way to get out from emotions or bonds.

A little history about Mingky and I: I met her years ago through Neve. Since then, we talked sensibly and humorously through Yahoo! Messenger. A few years after, she told me about her migration to another country. I didn't took it seriously. Maybe because it's inevitable or maybe I was busy fixing things. Busy chasing pavements.

I'm not regretting nor sad because she left. I was down because it become a constant reminder of me taking for granted the many times she was here. It was too late for me to know her more than just Neve's best bud. She could have been one of my closest kinships as well. I could have been her guitar teacher, right? Or second elder brother. The possibilities of having someone you could share your thoughts and interests with was unlimited as far as friendship was concerned: These were the things I would utter a deepest sigh everyday.

Today and for the rest of my age, I will do my utmost best to show my gratitude, love, appreciation, concern and happiness to the little most important people that surrounds me and will surround me for the next coming years.

I have no problems hearing goodbye's. The worst is saying temporary goodbye's and indirectly forget the people behind. Perhaps it's a prerequisite for having a new life in a new land.


Nov 4, 2009

Talents: Where Did It Come From?


Where do talents come from? A priest will say "it's a gift from up above!", and a scientist will say.. "It's an inherited trait from either one of your parents or relatives."

But what about the kind of talent that made you do it because of a given circumstance? Money. Fame. Family. For personal gain. Trippings. Expression. Love.

Pick a choice.

I, on the other hand, was brought up in a musically inclined father side. Environment, would be the triggering factor for me, I guess. Influences that almost eats the very core of originality in you.

And where do these "gifts", as we say, come from? It's not like you just picked up a guitar-and-start-strumming-and- everything-will-follow kind of scenario for some. The late great Michael Jackson was trained by his father almost all his childhood life. And you'd asked, was the awesomeness and brilliance came from years and years of practice? Just practice and a sacrificed childhood are what it takes to be great?

It starts as a discovery. You soon discovered you can hit a note, hit an empty can without blinking, catch a ball in an amazing graceful way, to speak fluently and manipulatively, to capture a fly in a split second, to calculate a radical number and divide it to cotangent, to think strategically, to love in the most unimaginable way, to shoot a basket without a miss, to listen and comprehend, to trick one's mind, to receive pain and continues to do so, to read a million pages, to write the most moving phrases that you have ever written.

...and then you start to develop it. To hone. To purify it. To accept fate. To accept mistakes. To accept weaknesses. To accept that almost everyone can do what you can do, as well. To accept not that there's an equal born to do what you're doing is foolishness. To be equally unique is a test.

....and you share these unique things you've done.

...until there's nothing left to do but to grow. To grow to something different or something worthwhile. And continue sharing. By how? Teaching. Can we now safely conclude that talents can be passed on? Possibly.

And yet, where do these talents come from? was it an innate sleeping pulse of energy, waiting for a particular thing to happen? Was it from lack of anything to do? Or was it because your parents told you so? Envious for the fact that your siblings and peers can do it, why can't you? Or was it inspiration?

We can always assume that a man is just a man. A chef is just a cook if you leave him in a kitchen. But a cook at night and a musical composer by day will certainly destroy that assumption. I'm trying to analyze myself in terms of composing a song or tune. Mostly, my songs were done by a flick of a thought. It would just come from out of nothing, until a light bulb just appeared from that nothingness, I just switched on that light. But it never stopped there. You'd examine the light bulb, until you're convinced that that light bulb, that idea, is unique. Then you may now start to develop that light bulb into a fluorescent, and that florescent light will become something much bigger. And you'd start sharing that huge fluorescent bulb. Was it also the same as dancing, capture a breath-taking scene or photograph, driving, card playing, eating much, wrote a poem? I don't think so.

I could never answer where or to whom these gifts come from. However I can only have a hint or a guess about these talents:

That it may start from something you love. Or something you're proud of. Or something that makes you, not them, happy. And then you will have control. You will be awed at what you're doing. It is love. Because whatever talent you may have, without that drive, everything would end up as a joke with pun intended.

Nov 2, 2009

For the Win

CONGRATULATIONS to UP DHARMA DOWN for winning Artist of The Year, Album of the year and Vocalist of the year in NU ROCK AWARDS 2009!


We believe.

Cheers!






Oct 11, 2009

Brewing Short-lived Relationships


Since January of this year, the word "short-lived" was very eminent and present. I lost a few from a few true friends I have in a very dramatic yet simple fashion. No wonder misunderstandings are one of the few ingredients for having "short-lived" relationships. You could almost taste the impending drop of every human word that would utter in a split second. Chances and forgiveness are considered rare herbs that you could add up in order for a relationship to simmer and smell that unique blend. It was never a pretty sight when you're into these short-lived ties. Like here you are investing your time, and hoping against hope that every slightest thing you've done was for the better good. Pledging to never sought the downside for them. To sought the worth keeping things that you want them to remember. And sadly, the next thing you know, you're goner and considered a beautiful let down.

I kid myself one time and thinking what if I come up with "warning label" of I in a bullet form in order for each person to accept the future or at least, expects these things from me:

* To the opposite sex: I will not held responsible to my heart. If in the process of friendship I fell in love with you. Don't panic. Don't run. Better yet, don't hide and ignore me. Let's talk.

* I am not a perfect friend. I could be an asshole in one way or another, rest assured I have valid reasons for being one but nevertheless, I will be modest to accept my or your mistakes. Be assured I won't put you into a situation that would make you less of a person. We're humans.

*There would be arguments, misunderstandings, tears, steers and ugly smirks. But that doesn't mean we can't talk about it in a more matured way.

*Let's expect to respect each other from head to toe, shitty times to not-so-happy times, from pondering to just wanting to be alone. This will not make us hurt each other more even if keeping in touch would become a thing of the past.

* I will speak your name in awe and next to cool adjectives and figure of speeches like.. "she's one of the finest!" or "Gago yun pero elibs pa rin ako kasi mahal niya pamilya niya." I will speak highly of you to the closest people that you don't and do know.

*Yes I said, and mean it so much that "I'm here for you." But without the word "every time" on it.

*Let's step back temporarily if we hurt each other one day.

*Forgive. No matter how hard, we'll learn to forgive.

But alas, having these kind of warnings or cautionary measures would might end up being a "survival" guide which I'd rather for them to be lost and know each other as time passes.

Short-lived friendships tastes bad. Kaya kung sino ang mga taong nasa paligid mo na binibigyan ka ng importansiya ngayon, sila ang dapat mong itago ng mahabang panahon. These kind of friends of yours will be so fermented and aged in oak barrels you could almost smell the aromas of the likes from APO Hiking Society or VST & Co. Through think and thin, they were there with each other.

And from this alone, you won't need the extra "F" in BF.


Interlude:

To all the short-lived relationships that I met in the past few months, I'll raise my glass of milk to you all! At least we didn't end up foes. The Earth is already too crowded to keep one.